Tears came trotting down my face as I sat there realizing how badly I had messed up today’s presentation. I knew it very well that I might be fired from my work in any short notice. Third time. This was the third and the last time I had been given a warning by my boss to tug up my assignments and rehearse it. I managed to fail. Again.
Gulping down the fifth glass of water, I opened up the drawer of my writer’s desk whisking away the important papers to find the car keys. My eyes fell on something which I tried to avoid from a couple of days. But they say, “The more you run away from your fears, the more they come to haunt your knuckles down.” I lifted the paper, gently folding it and kept it inside my pocket. The tears, however, wanted to dress up my face for today as I drove towards home. It was 10 in the night. Looking out from the window, the soft gushes of wind kissed my cheeks gifting me relief. I realized how the big yellow crescent moon was following my car. When I was a kid, I had memories of the road trips we used to go to and being sleepy in the backseat of our car, my dad humming some old songs looking deeply into my mom’s eyes, flirting and the sound of the road, the slight bumps and that moon, following me everywhere. The journey of my life had taken a serious bump after that. My dad was diagnosed cancer’s last stage and he left us when I was only 10.
The moon following me in the middle of this night takes me back to all those days where I was a happy kid strolling my life in a swing. And now I knew that it’s not the moon that follows me but the science in it. See, how ‘growing up’ had changed everything.
I reached home. I lived all by myself. Eventually after dad’s death mum passed away 7 years later and I had no parent. Nana Ji brought me up, paid my college fees and being a dedicated student, bagged a decent job in the post of production manager where I am working today. I never had a laid back attitude. Being an upright worker, I always managed to please my boss with the best of my works. But recently something had shattered me emotionally, mentally and physically. I took out the paper from my pocket and unfolded it. The print out of the mail. The paper which I tried to avoid from the past two weeks were again in my hands, un-crumpled. Tears smeared my face as I gathered myself to read it again. It was Samaira’s last email to me.
Samaira was my girlfriend of four years and we were happily in love. She was like a feather of utmost beauty cradled in love for me. I fell for her out of nowhere. We met each other during my internship program and since then, there was no looking back. She made me discover the finest details of love, empathy and care and for which I’d always be grateful for. Times went by and things changed. Or more precisely, times had changed. Her priorities in life became parallel to mine. Our future was no more seen in the sharing light. Our sweet nothings changed to verbal arguments and ego clashes. Her voice used to chirp with the symphony of the food we used to eat whenever we went for dinner. But later our conversations changed into the sound of cluttering spoons and forks on the dishes. We didn’t talk for 4 straight months. It was 3rd October when I received this mail from her. Well, it was a mail of an invitation. Her wedding invitation. She was marrying my batch mate from the intern program. In the letter, she described how she had fallen in love with him and how beautiful he had made her feel. It had broken me completely. I couldn’t see the love of my life being someone else’s life partner. I was happy for her but this fact had a drastic change on me. I became emotionally depressed. My mind was usually wandering nowhere. I slept late at night, crying and cursing myself, turned up late for office and got usual whacks from my boss. Before today’s presentation, I had messed up two more. Today, I knew it was the final one and I will be getting a termination letter mailed by tomorrow. Before life could curse me more with another email, I decided to do what I should have done days ago. I tore the print out of Samaira’s mail and threw it in the dustbin, sat on the floor and cried my final tears heart out. This had to pass.
It was 10 in the morning when I woke up to the ringtone of my phone. I found myself lying down on the couch. My eyes were hurting badly, partly because I slept late and partly because of the emotional outburst I had last night. I picked up my phone to see my boss calling. Well, so the wake up call! I knew what it was for. He had called me up in the office.
I got ready, made a backup of last day’s presentation and headed to the office. I reached his cabin and to my surprise he had no clues of frown on his face. What he said me next got me surprised. He told me how it was not entirely my fault about yesterday’s presentation, how I needed to be given a break after my emotional breakdown and how dedicatedly I had been working for this firm from past three years. Well, he had given me the fourth chance. He further added that I would be given a week off to recollect the dismantled things. I was happy and overjoyed. I thanked him and confessed that how I had almost expected a termination letter. He laughed off that I might get one the next time. I worked till 8 in the office that day and provided the backup of the presentation to him. It was one of those days when I was happy staying up late at the office for work.
We all grow up and assume that things change and outgrow. Indeed they do. Crayons and toys change into emotions and feelings. We start hiding tears under our pillows and people and friends no more chose to be with us forever. My dad had left me, so did my mum, so did Nanu and so did Samaira. Whilst this, I realised that they never leave you. But your journey with them has concocted accordingly. People fade, feelings fade and so do emotions but memories always choose to stay. And this is the real connotation of growing up.
As I drove past the road to my home, I saw the moon again. Running parallel to my car. I played an old song which my dad used to play. A smile spread across my face and memories flashed back again. The yellow moon gazed in light and pretended to look back at me as if assuring me her presence during my thick and thins. And I, again started believing that it’s not the science, the moon does follow my car.